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	I swear I watched these movies and/or shows:
	Karate Kid (2010) - Okay, I'll start off with a recently watched, fair and unbiased review of the new Karate Kid movie, which is produced by Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith and stars the young Jaden Smith... oh, and Jackie Chan. Oops, hang on, I think I have somehow replaced the thumbnail with a picture of a young Italian American taken about 16 years ago... sorry about that, where was I? Oh yes, I had watched a movie and decided to review it on my cardboard box I mean website because people care what I think. Jackie Chan tries to make us cry halfway through by throwing in an irrelevant past story and then proceeds to 'train' Dre (Jaden) until he is ready to take on his school bully in a tournament by throwing him the signature Will Smith 'what the fuck? no seriously what the fuck.' look during the final battle. Which of course beats him. Of course. Hooray for Box Office Money! Can't compete with True Legend? (Su Qi-Er) If you can't get it right, watch it in China.
	$9.99 (2008) - Interesting. Quite the story indeed. Surreal, and real.. It's unlike any film I've ever seen, and I've seen Waking Life. Animation-wise, the stopmotion reflects the same sort of unreal-yet-real characters experienced in Mary and Max, which is oddly enough also Australian-made. I'm not going to give away any plot or character spoilers, you can find those easily enough on the internet. I'll just say it's worth watching, as long as you're interested in watching what could become a classic film rather than an average money-movie. Hey, I give everything a fair shot, and this one ranks up there alongside Happiness. Maybe you'll nod with me when you see it, maybe not. To each their own.
	Kick-Ass (2010) - It must be a great time to be a comic book artist right now, seeing as creatively-deficient producers everywhere are snapping up the rights to anything they think would sell theatre tickets. I'm not going to see Scott Pilgrim for a while, though I have nothing against Brian Lee O'Malley's success - that kind of thing is what everyone hopes for, and maybe he can get an animated series in the works someday. Anyways, I'm being critical of this movie here. I can't say it was great, nor can I say it was good. It was a movie, and I watched it, but I wasn't moved by it. It's pretty much wrapped up exactly the way you expect it to be; it's a bunch of violent scenes tied together with a loose plot and a couple chucklers. Your kids will love it. Wait, did they rate it R? Yeah, they did. Your kids will love it.
	Metropia (2009) - Not to be confused with a 2004 Canadian show of the same title, this is an animated film made in Scandinavia. It's worth a watch, if only to see the interesting animation style and to hear Juliette Lewis voice one of the main characters. I've heard other reviews that are more disfavorable of the story and plot, as if the presentation came off as some noteworthy gimmick.. granted, the story is fairly bleak and even a bit far-fetched but that's part of the whole package. I thought it was played out quite brilliantly and is deserving of recommendation.
	I could have sworn I tried to spoil myself on Batman: The Dark Knight (2008) by watching a video on youtube in which The Joker is killed in a confrontational scene with Batman and has his neck broken by the bat legs. It's early 2010 now and I decided to check out Heath Ledger's famous acting legacy and when it was all over, I reflected back to that spoiler video (spoiler ahead) and thought, 'wait just a second.. he didn't kill the Joker..' and then I started searching around for it, and.. I can't find it. I'm fairly convinced that my memory isn't faulty, either it was a very well-made spoof that was released at the same time as the movie and subsequently disappeared, or it was an actual leaked anti-spoiler clip that at one point in time was not a figment of my imagination. I guess the movie was okay, despite heavy political/terrorism tones, but .. seriously?
	Shaolin Soccer (2001) and Kung Fu Dunk (2008) have three things in common: Sports, martial arts, and an absolutely ridiculous story. I hadn't watched Shaolin Soccer before, but these are the guys behind Kung Fu Hustle which was good, so I thought I'd watch it. It was actually enjoyable and there was some semblance of story, continuity, and even some moments of genuine character building amidst the crazy special effects and the humor. Unfortunately, Kung Fu Dunk doesn't take too well with having an absolutely ridiculous story, and things fall apart halfway through. I mean, really fall apart. It becomes ludicrous to the point you lose whatever connections to the characters you had made in the opening half of the movie. Up until a certain point, you were willing to overlook the campy, kung fu plot to root for the main characters, but then suddenly the screenwriters decide to dump a bucket of chum into the story, and this story doesn't take place in the ocean.. it takes place on a basketball court. Having already watched Shaolin Soccer in this back-to-back screening, I was accustomed to seeing ridiculous opponents and last-minute saves but I just stared, gaping, and the only thought I could muster was '..what?' This is where most people would have shut the movie off and gargled with listerine to get the taste out, but I figured it would be funny to see how much worse they could make this movie. Good job, guys. Keep it simple next time.
	Soul Eater (2008) - So one day I had some ideas for a comic and decided to poke around the net doing research and whatnot, and I stumbled upon Soul Eater. 'Crap', I thought, 'this has already been done'.. and after reading a character bio website I of course realized it wasn't the same as my idea, just similar, yet - it intrigued me. Then, I found that Funimation had basically released the episodes publically and I found them all on Youtube (search for 'soul eater sub') and started watching. I got fairly into it, and then took a break from it for a while after about 30 episodes. I figured, at that point, 'Well.. I get the idea and it'll probably be more of the same.' In any case, about a month later I picked it up again, as it was still available, and watched another ten episodes or so. Needless to say, I'll finish watching it to the end.
	Mind Game (2004) - Awesome. Croly Hucking Fap. Although I used to have a distaste for Studio 4°C's art style, it works well for this story, much like the style worked for Tekkon Kinkreet. The opening clipmash isn't wholly understood at first, but it all fits together like a puzzle at the end of the movie. The development of the characters is the basis of the plot, as they reflect and come to terms with themselves in the mouth of a giant whale. I had a clear head when I watched it, and it was still a trip.
	Hyakko (2008) and K-On! (2009) - Some similaries are quickly noticed in these two series, (yes, I've reviewed series on here before too) with the most prominent being that they both generally revolve around four first-year high school girls who interact amusingly amongst themselves and the secondary characters. I haven't watched Lucky Star or Haruhi but I could probably guess that they're in the same vein for the most part, and all aforementioned series have been widely successful in Japan. Success, as some might say, is all in the formula and the marketing - in this case, the uber-cute K-On! girls have gained a legion of moe-happy fanboys while Hyakko wasn't as well-received by television audiences. However, anime review sites pass off K-On! as over-fluffed cutesy nonsense that doesn't present any real character depth, while praising Hyakko as a hidden gem that gets better the longer you watch it. As you can tell, I try to hunt down what may be interesting or funny to watch, and if I come across a title I'll google some images or peek at a few reviews or youtube clips beforehand so I know what I'd be getting into - heck, that's what movie previews are for, right? I came across Hyakko first, and the reviews tend to suggest that you should watch more than just the first two episodes before giving up on it, because they are fairly slow. I would have to say that I liked Hyakko a good bit, it's actually pretty funny and the characters grow on you. From there, I would find people posting that Hyakko was better than K-On! or Haruhi.. so I thought I'd see what K-On! was. The 'funny' clips of the show posted to Youtube did seem kind of fluffy and cutesy and not much like Hyakko. However, I stumbled upon some of the music clips from the show and was impressed enough to watch the whole series to see what the deal was. It's actually not that bad, although a little cliche for an anime, it has its moments and the music is definately addictive.. but reminiscent of Alvin and the Chipmunks. (but you could never really rock out to the Chipmunks, could you?)
	Mary and Max (2009) - Based on a true story. The opening narrative is hilariously dry and sets the tone for this melancholic tale of two pen pals who keep each other from losing their minds. Mary is an eight year old Australian girl coping with vacant parents and ostracization at school, and Max is a 44 year old Jewish atheist with Asperger's syndrome living in New York with his pet cat, fish, and snails. Funny, sad, and even confuzzling at times, their correspondence over the years solidifies a distant but unbiased friendship that mutually supplies what each of them lack in their own lives; basic companionship. Also, it's surprising how many of the central characters die during this movie.. I don't want to spoil it for you but the scenes where Max finally snaps and goes on a killing spree are the most chilling I have seen in an animated film. Okay, that doesn't really happen. Or, does it? Now you're going to want to watch it, aren't you?
	9 Movie (2009) - One day, a small beanbag being awakens into a post-apocalyptic world where all the humans have been killed by a robot uprising. Finding a strange pendant that later becomes the focal point of the plot and the answer to his existence, he takes it with him on his trek to find others of his kind. I think it's a good movie, and although you expect the main characters to survive through desperate situations, the tone of the film is a lot more sinister than I had expected. 9 is the second movie made by the same studio who made Coraline so it's visually impressive, and it doesn't hurt that Tim Burton himself lends some credit to its production.
	Summer Wars (2009) - By Madhouse, the studio behind Girl Who Leapt Through Time, comes another surreal and bizarre adventure - this time in cyberspace. Kenji, a math whiz who spends his time playing OZ, a world-scale online game, is suddenly invited to attend Natsuke's grandmother's birthday under false pretenses. As soon as he arrives, strange things start to happen in OZ.. a renegade A.I. program with a thirst for knowledge and power begins hijacking accounts, starting with Kenji's and framing him for the mischief. The problem escalates to global scale when the program starts using hacked accounts to tamper with emergency services and GPS-controlled satellites, but luckily, Natsuke's extended family have more than adequate resources at their disposal to help Kenji defeat the monster! This anime is so 1337 it's EPIC.
	Yobi, the Five Tailed Fox (2007) - The title character is a rare breed, a fun and colorful 100-year old shapeshifter who ends up spending some time amongst humans when she has to rescue one of her alien friends from the clutches of a small schoolgirl, before someone sends him to a zoo or worse. Did I say aliens? Yeah, she lives with a group of aliens who crash-landed on earth. On her stealth mission, curious Yobi discovers that humans are more fun than she previously thought, and begins to wonder if it's worth stealing one of their souls to become one herself.
	The Girl Who Leapt Through Time (2006) - One day, Makoto Konno's life takes an accidental turn that results in her gaining the power to go back in time to change the recent events in her life. Unfortunately, she's kind of laid back and self-centered so she uses this gift to go back and eat the pudding which was meant for her, but that her sister ate instead. However, she begins to learn that her actions carry consequences. The movie is free-spirited and adventurous as well as emotional at times, driven by strong characters through one crazy rollercoaster of a day.
	Sword of the Stranger (2007) - Bloody Hell. Some crazies are hunting down a kid so they can take his blood for a ceremony that will make them immortal. Too bad there's this guy who comes along, and has a guilt trip from serving in wartime that makes him soft for helping little bastards like this. Some reviews have exemplified this movie as a typical swordplay anime massacre but I think it reaches a little beyond this branding. You'll see.
	Ghost in the Shell: Innocence (2004) and Appleseed: Ex Machina (2007) - While Hollywood continues to maintain that sequels can be better than the original, only these two titles deliver the goods, and they aren't even American. The time difference between the first and second GiTS movies are longer, and while the technology advancement has allowed for better visuals than its predecessor, it certainly does not lack for story; picking up where the last film left off, as Batou searches for Matoko as well as himself. Appleseed's followup has been injected with a little bit of John Woo as well as computer-generated enhancements that surpass the original (the 2004 version, not the 1988 OVA, but really, who can argue with a Shirow anime) and it also feels like it goes more in-depth into the portrayed universe to result in a very satisfying film experience.
	Kakurenbo (2007) - I remember, a few years ago, I had seen some promotional images for some anime film that struck me with 'I want to see that' syndrome. However, I forgot what it was called and never found it again while digging. 'There's this anime I wanted to see', I said, 'but I can't remember what it was called and I can't find it.' Well, lucky for you, I stumbled upon it the other day, years later. It turns out it's only a 22-minute mini-movie so that may be one of the reasons why it ended up becoming somewhat obscure. Now that you know what it's called, go watch it. It's not that bad. I did however have more expectations of it, based solely on the colorful character designs, but the film should be considered in the 'horror' genre and these characters do not have enough screen time for their personalities to be fully explored. I was half-expecting some ninja flick but this works well enough.
	Avatar (2009) - From seeing the trailers, I assumed this one would basically be a bad, live action rehash of Battle For Terra. It looks pretty darn good and it's certainly more involved than the book's cover (figuratively) lets on. But, this reminded me of something else.. It's like watching a cross between Kaena and Battle For Terra, with quadruple the budget and 100x the press. Just in time for Christmas theatres near you.
	2012 (2009) - Two and a half hours of John Cusack very narrowly surviving every worst possible version of every natural disaster known to mankind. Subtle hints in the movie, such as suggesting Hollywood will show it first (self-referential) and a black president in office sadly proclaiming that he will be the last president of the USA, tend to come off as bleak propaganda to further persuade people to believe that the world will actually end in a few years. Come on people, even the title year taken from the Mayan calendar 'predictions' is misrepresented in this film as being an end of days rather than an end of an era. Do your research and stop trying to self-fulfill old prophecies. Is it too late to learn?
	Watchmen (2009) - Pretty good. Startlingly faithful despite obvious, glaring discrepancies from the comic book such as the method Rorschach uses to kill the murderer/rapist. What, was the director too afraid people would think he was ripping off the hacksaw scene from Saw? Come on, why would he hack away at the guy's skull with a meat cleaver instead? Also, blaming the end mess on Dr. Manhattan... what? Sure, it sums it up a lot 'cleaner' but I wanted my flaming carnage served by mutant squid. You did too, didn't you. Didn't you?
	Astro Boy (2009) - Somebody put way too much money into a CG remake which quickly sheds the original story and becomes GUNNM. Familiar characters make their appearances as non-relevant plot devices while new ones are thrown in to support the 'new' story, which has subtle political overtones and poor illiterate orphans for Astro to make friends with. It's watchable but unfaithful to its old school roots. Every shot of the floating Metro City and the scrapheap made me think of Tiphares. That's Zalem for those of you who saw the English version of GUNNM when they called it Battle Angel. The ending is ridiculous, taking a page from all the sequential serial blockbusters that try to throw in a 'hook' for a possible sequel, but of course when you see it you'll know it's an homage to the serial nature of the original cartoon. But still, everything ends on a sweet note then OH MY GOD, ALIENS ARE ATTACKING THE CITY, the end.
	Baby Mama (2008) - Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. In a movie. Which means a skit gets stretched out, no childbirth pun intended, into a full feature. It has the feel of your basic overbudget average movie, so if you watch a lot of average movies you won't have a problem sitting through this one. Although, some of the punchlines in this one are so out there it's like the movie was a bowl of punch.. and somebody, uh, spiked.. the punch. Well acted, good twists. The black guy in the movie plays a doorman, and he gets the honor of explaining the movie's title by repeating it a bunch of times. Actually, the fact that he's the rich bitch's doorman isn't really stereotyping the character as lower class since Poehler's character is basically homeless white trash so, overall, the balance of the socio- oh fuck it, watch the movie.
	Aachi & Ssipak (2006) - Okay, so this ain't Disney, and it ain't FLCL for that matter, and if you aren't sure what I mean then you probably came to this site by accident. So, watch this one, probably by torrent since it's a South Korean animated film which could be summarized as about 90 minutes of well-animated violence. The distopian future's primary energy source is poop, and defecation is rewarded with 'juicybars' which turned out to be addictive and the side effects include blue skin, dwarfism and shrinkage of reproductive organs. So, get enough mutants in a room and they form the Diaper Gang, whom the title hoodlums get tangled with in their pursuit to get rich pilfering the blue gold. Funny and cleverly violent; there are so many ways a mutant can get killed!
	The Secret Of Kells (2009) - Remember when you were younger and thought you had seen the most amazing, well-animated fantasy cartoons ever? I guess your kids won't be disappointed that some studios are actually sticking to quality over quantity. Disregarding whatever the previous sentence was meant to say, you'll probably enjoy this legendary work of film in your own way - there are religious overtones but they are not focal to the story, in fact there may be faeries and pagan spirits present in this Irish tale of courage and chaos. I know the film has been reviewed by some as 'not making sense' or being too complex without explaining what is happening, but I think they're just trying to read too much into it. Maybe if you see it from Brendan's view you'll get it. Also: It's trippy.
	I Sell The Dead (2008) - The main guy reminds me of the star of Shaun of the Dead and How To Lose Friends and Alienate People but I don't think it's the same guy at all. However, good looks aside (for a gnarly looking scot) this flick is pretty sick. In a good way. Here's the just of it: A graverobber, in his last hours before execution, recites the most memorable points of his career. The story and pacing are spot on, and you'll enjoy every twist.
	Ponyo (2008) - If you can, watch it subtitled. I feel that a foreign film, especially animated, loses some of its magic when high-paid hollywood actors provide voiceovers. It's Hayao Miyazaki's newest film after he said he would stop making movies after Howl's Moving Castle (also watch this one) so there isn't enough praise I can give this masterpiece other than strongly suggesting you find yourself watching it. (preferrably subtitled if you don't understand Japanese.) It's child-friendly but that doesn't make it any less captivating for adult viewers.
	Paprika (2006) - A surreal dreamscape adventure begins when a prototype DC Mini is stolen; the device allows a person to enter another's dreams. Well animated and written, the story and visuals border on the bizarre, but that works perfectly well in this animated media. Playing out almost like a detective thriller on acid, people in the development team begin to exhibit signs of insanity, as if their minds are trapped in a dream, and the protagonists attempt to find out who stole the device and what they're ultimately using it for.
	Afro Samurai (2007) and Samurai Champloo (2004) - have a few basic themes in common but are completely different. Champloo, made and aired in Japan first with a double season 26-episode run, focuses on three characters on a journey as they encounter life or death struggles in attempts to escape or come to terms with their pasts. Afro Samurai on the other hand is originally a Japanese work but highly Americanized, with some A-list actors providing voices and RZA providing tracks, eventually spawning a sequel movie and a video game from its 5-episode series which centered primarily on the main character's killing spree towards his ultimate goal of revenge. While both series are incredibly well animated, they differ in that Champloo is more visually artistic and more realistically choreographed while Afro is basically an unstoppable, superhuman force whose sword messily dispatches opponents with little effort and much glorified blood spray. Both series are entertaining, I'll give you that, and chances are you have never even heard of Champloo if you live in the USA, and even if you did watch it you'd probably get bored because of the massive runtime of the whole series in which the characters actually develop in a progressive manner as their pasts are slowly unravelled. The similarities of both series, the mashup of eastern bushido drama with western hip hop, are only notable in terms of who did it first; much the way American 3D films copy each other in attempts for box office success. You never noticed? ANTZ vs. A Bug's Life, Finding Nemo vs. Shark Tale, Flushed Away vs. Ratatouille. I'll stop here, and suggest that you'll probably prefer Afro Samurai if you're the type of person who'd rather see spilt blood than a reasonable conflict resolution.
	Up (2009) - If you can get over the possibly saddest beginning to an animated movie ever, you'll accept that it's a solid and relevant backstory for the 78-year old main character, who's already lived his entire life without actually following his childhood dream until it was actually too late. Determined now, at any cost, to live his dream, he sets out to do what he promised. Unfortunately for the old bastard, he finds out that you can't always get what you want.. that is, he meets opposition as well as benefit from the unpredictable world around him and he begins to understand the importance of what is here and now. It's critically acclaimed so that must mean you'll like it too.